I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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