He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
