Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
