Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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