she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
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i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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