You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
