i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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