Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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