Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize