Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
