Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
