the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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