I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think your dad took our porno
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize