Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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