I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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