at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
