cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
