i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
