apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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