wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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