So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
