Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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