Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
