At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think your dad took our porno
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
