I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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