I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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