Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
