We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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