Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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