Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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