i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
