Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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