so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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