We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
