batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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