I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My liver just had a heart attack.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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