so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it glows. i had to have it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize