I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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