this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
