I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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