I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
