I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
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She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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