youre lurking in front of me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Screwed.edu
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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