She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
