party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
