Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
