I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
