And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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