dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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