just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
