I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
