Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
