if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
