this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
