I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He felt like a one man threesome
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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