def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
